Rolleth up! Rolleth up! Come thou hither one and all! As thou art no doubt aware our glorious Lord and Savior is preparing for his second coming even as we speaketh! However, some of thee may have, how shall we say “not paid thy due respects in due time”? Or perhaps thou were simply a little short on coinage during the great commission? Fear not! For our Lord is a gracious Lord and he is offering thee a second chance at salvation!
Yea! for just 24 simple monthly payments of 458 dollars thou too can call thyself “Lord of the Manor” and have a grand tour of our Lord’s heavenly abode! Also included is one of ye very first copies of our Lord and Savior’s grand creation! And let us not forget all the other rewards thou shalt enjoy including thine own Barony with tax exempt housing (only dirty peasants have to pay taxes!), enslaved vendors that require no salary, weather, music, cloaks and much much more!
So what art thou waiting for! Get thee out thine pocketbook this moment and buy thy letter of indulgence so thou too shalt be saved in the end when our Lord and Savior returns! Sorry, no C.O.D.s